I love story. I love listening to stories, telling stories, and locating myself within our collective stories. That is the gift they bring: they help us make sense of the world and our place in it. They help us understand on a cellular level that we are not alone. Humans have faced similar struggles since the beginning of time. 

The stories we tell about ourselves and our world determine what kind of life we live. There are many stories to choose from. We have stories from before the written word in myth form, folk tales, media, culture, religion, and society, to name just a few sources. 

If we do not learn to tell our story from a place of agency and power, we might find ourselves living a life - or a story - that is not our own. 

The Selkie story is an ancient tale from the lands of my ancestors that woke me up instantly when I read it. Like many women, I immediately identified with it. 

the selkie story

A long time ago, a very lonely fisherman lived on an island surrounded by the mighty sea. He had not married as he had not found anyone that he might love in his village. As was his habit, he would walk the shores where he fished under the light of the stars in the evening to soothe his loneliness. 

One night under the light of the full moon he spotted a group of beautiful women swimming and dancing on the rocks in the bay. He crept up for a closer look and immediately he knew that they must be Selkies, magical seals that for one night each  month could shed their skins and become human in physical form. He was entranced as he watched the beings dance, laugh, and sing with complete wildness and abandon. He then spotted the place where they had left their skins and he stole one without them seeing. 

As the night drew to a close, the Selkies one by one began to put their skins on and return to the water. Of course, the last Selkie could not find hers and was searching frantically as her sisters waited for her to join them in the bay. Eventually, light began to break, and the fisherman approached the Selkie and told her he had stolen her skin. He convinced her to marry him and stay on the land for seven years and then he would return her skin. She agreed mostly because she had no other choice and looked back at her sisters longingly as she followed him home

The fisherman and the Selkie had a daughter together. But with each year that passed the Selkie became less vibrant and vital. The light in her eyes, once so bright, began to dim. Her body ached. Her energy waned. She become sadder and sadder. At the seven year mark, she requested her skin back from her husband who flatly refused her. She took to her bed after that. 

Her daughter saw her mother fading before her eyes and had overheard the request and refusal that took place between her parents and decided to look for the skin for her mother. She searched the land high and low and finally in a crevice between the rocks near the place her father had first spotted the Selkies dancing seven years prior, there was her mother’s skin. 

She immediately returned it to her mother even though she knew that it would mean her mother would be leaving. Her mother had told her the stories of where she came from and sang her the songs from her home. She breathed her air into her daughter’s lungs which allowed her daughter to travel down to her home under the water should she wish to. And with that, her mother donned her skin and felt a familiar sense of comfort within it. With one long look at her daughter, she dove beneath the waters and found her way back to her true home. 

The fisherman and his daughter grieved her deeply. Her daughter would often walk down to that shore looking for her mother. Often there was one lonely seal there looking back at her with those soulful eyes. On the one year anniversary of her mother’s reunion with her skin, on the night of the full moon, the daughter found herself down at that shore once again and there was her mother waiting to dance and sing and visit with her. Each month under the light of the full moon, mother and daughter would come together in a joyful way. Her mother’s vibrance and vitality were breathtaking to behold. She sparkled. She laughed. She loved. She was so very comfortable in her own skin…

Reflections

There are many tellings of this particular story and the above telling is a summarized version. I love this story deeply. I think this story is one of the reasons that in this season of my life I find myself contentedly living on an island surrounded by the sea. I am finding my way back to my own skin. 

Women lose their skin for many reasons. Some hide them to make living with their family of origin easier. Some never knew they had their own skin. Some had their skin stolen by another. Some gave them away, not knowing their immeasurable value. 

This is the work I love to do with others: helping to locate our skins. Figuring out how to discard the stories that no longer serve us or were never ours to begin with and then crafting and creating the story that is uniquely ours to live in the world. 

What does losing our skin look like and feel like?

In life (speaking from my own experience), it can look like this:

• Working at a job that is taking more than it is giving and knowing you want to be doing something else

• Relationships that are no longer working or even causing harm

• Health is not vibrant, feeling dull, and the motivation to do something about it is nowhere to be found

• Fear of aging (and ultimately death) - feeling like it is all over for you now

• Finances - cannot seem to make the money or keep the money or use it with skill to optimize for your happiness

• Caring for others and having no time, energy, or will to care for yourself

• Unhealthy coping habits to meet stress and overwhelm (wine, weed, shopping, scrolling to name just a few…)

• The feeling of apathy, what’s the point or why bother?

• Anxious thinking that wakes you up at 3 am and steals your peace and rest

Losing our skin costs us a lot. It can affect our relationships, careers, finances, sense of well-being, and, ultimately, our health. I can help you find your skin so that you feel comfortable and powerful in it. 

Together, we transmute stress, overwhelm, and chaos into awareness, action, and desired results. We can recover our true selves and create and live the life we were born to live. 

I am not saying I do not occasionally lose my skin these days. Of course, I absolutely do. The difference is that now, I know what to do. I even feel grateful when I do, as there is so much information about where I would rather be. I can get myself from Point A (current obstacle or stressor) to Point B (heart-felt desire) and have helped many others do the same. 

Before I arrived at this place of knowing what to do, I searched and read books and took courses and certifications and listened to podcasts and did therapy, and got (and still receive) coaching. I have invested in a LOT of training, including a master's in education, yoga therapy certification, and many other excellent courses and certifications (this does NOT include the books in my library I have purchased and read) learning over the past decade to find the answers I needed to live the beautiful life I live now. 

There was much searching and seeking so that I could find my skin and become comfortable in it. I used to be a “shapeshifter.” Who do you need me to be and I will become that sacrificing my own truth to make you happy. I no longer engage that way, and this has freed me. 

I know from experience that I can help you move forward to the beautiful life you long to live. 

Here is the thing. I LOVE this stuff. I love to do the reading and to take the courses and get the certifications and listen to the podcasts and learn from the thought leaders of our times. I would do this anyway, for free. On any given day, my favourite genre of books to read - and I am a ferocious reader - are all on the topic of human development and evolution. 

My sweet spot is distilling this information into an individualized, custom plan of action so that you don’t have to read all the things, take all the courses, listen to all the podcasts, and get all the certifications. This work is where I feel I contribute the most to those around me. 

I know that feeling of wanting to create a beautiful and vibrantly healthy life and not knowing how to even start or if it is even possible. 

My training as an educator required me to meet each learner exactly where they were and help us both understand what next steps were required to get them where they needed to go. This experience has been invaluable as I guide adults. 

The work we can do together will provide clarity, and action unique to you and your situation. We will get you moving toward your unique life and your obstacles will show us the way. And the best part: you will know how to do this for yourself when you find yourself losing your way. The tools will be yours. Forever.

Together, we can find our way home. 

Send me an email here and let’s start a conversation…